Best Before 1997: Pure German cheese

I'm in a holiday mood today. Not just because of the early summer weather in UK, but also because I booked my summer holiday yesterday - three weeks beside the seaside, so I felt it was high time for some 100% cheese on the blog and what could be cheesier or more summery than a trip back ten years to visit Germany's greatest Europop/dance export (okay, that's not saying much), Mr. President.

Check out the video for JoJo Action. For me, this song features the world's all-time worst ever lyrics. Ah, they could only have been written by a German, not least because rhyming 'Candy apple tree' with 'JoJo honeybee' is actually an offence in some countries (well, it ought to be). At least the video redeems itself with a gorgeous shot of a discoball at 02'29.

Of course, it's hard to realise from watching their later stuff that Mr. President's earlier material was much harder. Take a look at the video from Forever and one day. It includes all the key ingredients of a summer Europop smash. Look at the sun drenched camera shots, and listen to the obligatory 'Oh-way-oh-way' lyric, pioneered by the Vengaboys themselves. Where could this beach be? Spain? Greece? Perhaps, but we're not too far from Germany, because methinks I can hear the sound of a jaunty alpine accordion in the background. The only downside is the irritating twang in the blonde one's voice... I challenge anybody to listen to the first thirty seconds without cringing at it.

You'll catch your death dressed like that!

What is it about the older generaration which compels them to dress for arctic weather even when it's baking hot? Today was a gloriously warm, sunny day in south London, and yet as I walked to the park to sit amongst the first sun-worshippers of the season, I was given cause to whip out my camera phone and take a snap of this monstrosity.

I just don't get it - it's hot, it's sunny, it's humid - why would anyone layer themselves up and add a big quilted jacket with matching hat on top? I dread to think of the buckets of sweat which must have been pouring off her underneath there. I for one would not have wanted to end up standing anywhere near her in the post office queue.

What is more shocking is that she had somehow managed to twin the outfit with a pair of Deirdre-Barlow-esque sunglasses. I suppose she was trying to cover all eventualities.