They wuz robbed (part I)

In these bleak months between Eurovision 2007 and the start of the national finals for 2008, there is precious little for Eurovision fans to cheer about. So I have decided to relive a few past semi-triumphs. These are songs wot should have won but were cruelly left for dead at the foot of the scoreboard.

The subject of my first post is Hello from Mars, the 2003 entry from Latvia. F.L.Y. were a fusion of Latvian talent from a number of different groups, formed especially for the contest. Plenty of promise on paper. And as host nation, the chances of a top ten finish looked convincing. What a tragedy that as the final votes were cast, poor Latvia were found languishing in 24th place with only five points, donated kindly by their Baltic neighbour, Estonia. The song was pretty good though, once you get over the complete lack of continuity in the lyrics and the frequent lapses off-key. In fact, come to think of it, there are three compelling reasons why this should have won.

Firstly, I would challenge anyone to get such fabulous whites using ordinary non-bio powder. Though Westlife may consider themselves to be patron saints of the white tuxedo, in any duel of laundrymanship, the brilliance of F.L.Y's whites would quite probably have blinded them.

Secondly, dancing in a two-man, one-girl trio is actually quite an arduous task - especially if that girl happens to be a rather weighty lesbian in high heels who has managed to steamroller her way between you and your boyfriend on the G-A-Y dance floor. But is there any other group on this planet which manage to pull it off as well as F.L.Y.? Every conceivable combination of cheesy three-way dance move is used to crowd-pleasing effect.

Thirdly, it is no secret that many of life's most pleasurable acts are performed while on the knees, and this is no exception. The fact that one third of F.L.Y. finishes up gasping on the floor only adds to the spectacle. Bravo, man!

Relive the pleasure of the peformance below. And if you like it enough to listen to it in tune, click Hello from Mars for it.