Can't dance, shouldn't be allowed to dance

Having looked a little closer at D'Nash's D'readful video, I am shocked to uncover the fact that it conceals carefully one of Eurovision's worst ever pieces of dancing. He might look like hot tapas but he dances like a wet fish. Should you wish to emulate this unrivalled piece of choreography, simply follow this simple guide:

Step 1: Push arms forward and pull them back like you're ski-ing in the alps

Step 2: Swing left, bring your elbows up to the sides and push outwards, like you're barging someone aside to get served first at the bar

Step 3: Continue swinging left, bring arms down in front of you, and make like you're about to undo your fly

Step 4: Bend over slightly (careful which clubs you do this in), bring arms up like wings and waggle backside like a drunken duck

Step 5: Now you've mastered it, head to G-A-Y bar in Old Compton Street where everyone knows this dance (except for the lesbians). And here it is in all it's animated glory: