They wuz robbed (part I)

In these bleak months between Eurovision 2007 and the start of the national finals for 2008, there is precious little for Eurovision fans to cheer about. So I have decided to relive a few past semi-triumphs. These are songs wot should have won but were cruelly left for dead at the foot of the scoreboard.

The subject of my first post is Hello from Mars, the 2003 entry from Latvia. F.L.Y. were a fusion of Latvian talent from a number of different groups, formed especially for the contest. Plenty of promise on paper. And as host nation, the chances of a top ten finish looked convincing. What a tragedy that as the final votes were cast, poor Latvia were found languishing in 24th place with only five points, donated kindly by their Baltic neighbour, Estonia. The song was pretty good though, once you get over the complete lack of continuity in the lyrics and the frequent lapses off-key. In fact, come to think of it, there are three compelling reasons why this should have won.

Firstly, I would challenge anyone to get such fabulous whites using ordinary non-bio powder. Though Westlife may consider themselves to be patron saints of the white tuxedo, in any duel of laundrymanship, the brilliance of F.L.Y's whites would quite probably have blinded them.

Secondly, dancing in a two-man, one-girl trio is actually quite an arduous task - especially if that girl happens to be a rather weighty lesbian in high heels who has managed to steamroller her way between you and your boyfriend on the G-A-Y dance floor. But is there any other group on this planet which manage to pull it off as well as F.L.Y.? Every conceivable combination of cheesy three-way dance move is used to crowd-pleasing effect.

Thirdly, it is no secret that many of life's most pleasurable acts are performed while on the knees, and this is no exception. The fact that one third of F.L.Y. finishes up gasping on the floor only adds to the spectacle. Bravo, man!

Relive the pleasure of the peformance below. And if you like it enough to listen to it in tune, click Hello from Mars for it.

Most fabulous hair in the pop world

Unless you watched the Eurovision Song Contest in 2004, you probably haven't heard of Jonatan Cerrada. He entered the contest singing for France, despite the fact that he is actually Belgian with Spanish roots. Jonatan also has the most fabulous hair to be found in the world of pop, narrowly beating Jimmy Jansson into second place. Well, until he went and shaved it all off, but the less said of that, the better. Jonatan came to notice in France when he won the French version of Pop Idol and thereafter was selected to represent France at the Contest.

If you saw the contest itself, then you surely haven't forgotten the white suit and the rather scary woman on stilts. Or the fact that Jonatan should have won, but instead wound up with 40points staring 15th position on the scoreboard in the face. But it didn't stop him going on to release his successful debut album, Siempre 23, and following it up with the equally successful La Preuve du Contraire. By way of an introduction to Jonatan, check out the videos below.

A chaque pas - The Eurovision 2004 performance. I think here we can all agree that on hair style alone, he should have walked the competition. Given it was a special occasion, he managed to achieve an even more voluminous effect than usual.


Rien ne me changera - Anybody who wishes to see Jonatan frolicking around in the desert getting sweaty by a campfire and smearing himself with what looks like oil would be well advised to check out this clip, from his first album.

Je voulais te dire que j'attends - Not quite sure about the thinking behind this clip for one of his singles from the first album. Jonatan appears to be playing the role of a peeping tom, watching the woman in the flat opposite, obsessing over her, keeping a secret stash of photographs of her in his bedroom. Look out for the court injunction soon, Jonatan.



Elle etait si jolie - Unfortunately you can't buy his performance here, duetting with fellow Pop Idol contestant Thierry Amiel.