Any Dross Will Do: BBC's hunt for new Joseph

So the BBC has launched its hunt to find a new Joseph to play the lead role in the Technicolor Dreamcoat musical. This Saturday the contenders were whittled down to just twelve hopefuls who are desperate to achieve fame by playing one of the West End's most famous roles. To these twelve contenders, I would say you have a long way to go to reach Andrew Derbyshire-level on the Joseph scale of perfection. For anyone who doesn't know, Andrew Derbyshire played Joseph in London's West End during its last major run here. Check out his official websites here and here. Please take a moment to look upon the Joseph heaven which is Andrew and remind yourself what perfection is before we take a look at some of the trite which is being served up by the BBC in the name of light entertainment.
Of course, the whole series isn't helped by the fact that it's being hosted by Graham Norton. BBC could hardly have chosen a better way to squeeze any remaining life out of the format. If you are one of my international readers and you don't know who he is, just be grateful. Here's a picture so you can imagine, but I've had to blur out the face because I cannot look at him any more. I met him in heaven nightclub once and I hope I never have the misfortune for our paths to cross again.


Without further ado, let's look at the contenders to Joseph's crown. I've selected three of the worst to feature here.


When I look at Seamus, I don't see a Joseph. What I see is a big ego and a lot of hair. And not in a good way. Seamus appeared to believe he was not just auditioning but that he was actually running the show. This was nothing to when Johndeep was auditioning though. When asked to sing angrily, rather than feeling moved in any way, I felt physically sick... Having said this, I do believe Johndeep has the potential for a career in showbusiness. That's if there is ever a call for a Mr Bean double. Which brings us to Rob, who is incidentally the better of the three, a builder from Rotherham. But surely BBC are scraping the bottom of the barrel by selecting someone whose career highlight so far, in his own words, is 'being a victim in a re-enactment on Tonight with Trevor MacDonald'.

Did anyone else see the show? Am I being too harsh here?