We can only blame ourselves...

The true brilliance of democracy is that when it all goes wrong, we've only got ourselves to blame. You get what you vote for in this old life, and here in all its fabulous glory is the entry which the discerning UK public selected to send to Helsinki.

A proportion of disgruntled viewers are complaining en masse to Eurovision forums about the result. To this, I say "pull yourselves together!" Scooch won fair and square, that's all there is to it, and at last gay men across the nation have an excuse to dress up in airline uniform in the name of light entertainment.